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measure for measure

4 February 2010

wings of wax and pressed string
like metaphors, conceal the meaning
of a certain madness, a certain longing
that is just as rational,
just as certain to lead to disaster
as trusting them to fly

and here am i, once again
on the edge of a great precipice
considering a leap–not of faith,
but of foolishness, abandon
with the wildness and sorrow
that thoughts of you always bring

if i died, would you think to sing
some song of sad, sorrowful lament
or would i sink slowly into the salty tears
of my fascination with the sea?

flights of fancy and unsolid fascinations
lie at the core of my being;
and while the sun promises the coming spring,
it melts, too, these imaginary wings
proving me to be
so much less
than i
desire.

with some terror i often wonder
if i am those waxen wings,
destined, when the wax melts before the fire,
to be nothing else
nothing

what horrors you always unleash in my mind!
desires that rage, sorrows that blind,
and bind me into days and days of useless,
fathomless despair and blacker rage;

the green-eyed wolf is again restless in his cage
and would devour all that i have come to treasure–
these black days bring a hollow cry
and only at their end do i remember Our Lord’s measure:

Whoever wants to come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.
Indeed, whoever wants to save his life will lose it; and whoever will lose his life for my sake for the sake of the Gospel will save it.
What does it profit if a man, to gain the whole world, forfeits his life?

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. 4 February 2010 18:20

    Waxen wings melt
    in the heat of the Son
    as it should be
    for He reaches down and offers
    to grow new
    muscle
    fiber
    bone

    so fledged with the feathers
    of His presence
    our new-grown wings
    flex against the flow of the wind
    to bear us further
    and higher
    than we could have known
    without drawing near.

  2. 5 February 2010 16:00

    “Let God arise and let His enemies be scattered, and let them that hate Him flee from before His face. As smoke vanisheth, so let them vanish; as wax melteth before the fire, so let sinners perish at the presence of God. And let the righteous be glad”

    So the question is, perpetually, on which side do we fall?
    With those on the left-hand who hear
    “Depart. I knew ye not.”
    Or those who with humility and love shall
    Be received in Godly fear
    (For our Lord is severe, and reapeth where he soweth not):
    “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

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