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not too sure

1 April 2010

…and I’m not too sure
what I’m supposed to be
did I grow up
but forget how to see
the truth in the little things
simple and uncomplicated
traded for a faded life
in cynical sophistication

…and I’m not too sure
what I’m supposed to do
where to go
or how I can get through
all these frustrated dreams
completely fabricated
in the sickness of a mind
too used to isolation

…and I’m not too sure
what I’m supposed to say
I can’t speak
except to push it all away
’cause I’m scared of the seams
coming all unraveled
and if tonight I were to die
would my soul be such a fool…

…and I’m not too sure
how I can go on
so messed up
as the years have piled on
and the weight of these things
carried for far too long
crush the heart into dust
and strangle every song.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. 1 April 2010 00:24

    And letting go with a whisper of grief
    over long-dead hopes,
    seeking for peace,
    and with a gravestone altar
    for offering
    they smolder beneath
    the eye of the King.
    And with the flame
    the prayers arise;
    with the loss of those dreams
    to a new future fly,
    like a phoenix awakened
    and given bright wings
    it is through giving up
    that your new song now sings.

    • 1 April 2010 14:46

      That’s certainly something to think about. Phoenix rising is more your thing, though, isn’t it?

  2. 1 April 2010 00:42

    this would do so well as lyrics for a ballad song

    • 1 April 2010 14:35

      That’s an interesting thought. Sadly, I have no musical abilities…

  3. 1 April 2010 01:01

    …and I’m not too sure
    of where I go
    after the phoenix rises
    and the phoenix soars
    to the sun’s new song
    but I hear its rays
    as they grasp my heart

  4. 3 April 2010 17:37

    my smoldering heart
    too hot to handle
    burned through my skin
    and fell to the floor
    and accused me of
    not listening
    why oh why
    it cried
    did you listen
    to your mind
    and pay no attention
    to me
    i might as well have been
    howling at the moon

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